abashima

Do you enjoy movies that spend 1% of their budget on script and 99% on SFX? Then may I recommend Atlas, which is so thunderously stupid from the first five minutes that I wonder who it was made for. Teenagers? Idiots? Teenaged idiots? Plus, a lot seems to have been cut that would have otherwise explained things that are missing. Still, it’s silly fun if...
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Do you enjoy “nightmarish vision” (i.e. films with mind-trippy sequences that don’t necessarily advance the plot [generally a tough sell for me]) but also stop-motion animation? Then may I recommend Stopmotion, which is well directed, horrific, gory to a point that almost got to even me, and has excellent cinematography and an overall perfect look and feel for what they were going for. The plot...
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Do you enjoy low budget slow burn ‘70s thrillers with a touch of horror that clearly saved nearly its entire budget for its climax? Then may I recommend Deathdream, carried by its actors and solid direction, which does a great slow transformation job and has a couple chills. (Including one stunt with a telephone pole that does not look like it was safe.)

Do you enjoy major motion picture action movies people unreasonably hate? Then may I recommend Madame Webb, a film that—on the Marvel scale—is poor, but on the scale of not that, is not terrible. There are important plot holes (golly!) and other script troubles, but it’s thin characters are competently acted, and the special effects are, you know, fine, and other things are, like, whatever....
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Do you enjoy movies that are terrible in every possible way? Then may I recommend Lords of the Deep, the last of the trilogy of aquatic horror movies released in 1989 that aren’t The Abyss. This one distinguishes itself by having the worst of everything. The best that can be said is it’s in color and a talkie.

Meanwhile, I amuse myself by pretending all
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Do you enjoy underwater sci-fi monster movies where the monster doesn’t really actually appear until the movie’s 3/4ths over—but it doesn’t matter because it’s a treat watching the producers get The Most out of every single dollar spent on gimbled sets and innumerable dangerous water stunts? Then may I recommend DeepStar Six, which spends most of its time on station repair action/drama. As a movie,...
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Do you enjoy sci-fi monster movies that try to be a patchwork of other movies, and have a lot going for them on paper (actors, cinematographer, director, composer, FX), but never gels into the good movie it wants to be? Then may I recommend Leviathan (1989), which comes up a bit short on everything. An interesting idea, and a couple good things here and there,...
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Do you enjoy movies that are more than what their log line suggests, like revenge films that are actually dystopic noir action sci-fi thrillers? Then may I recommend Upgrade, which we thought would be a simple action film but turned out to have more in it than that. It’s carried by the lead, who does well, and has interesting direction focused on complimentary choreography that...
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Do you enjoy thrillers that aren’t afraid of the horror part of murder? Then may I recommend Night Watch: Demons Are Forever, a Danish film (with subtitles) that is surprisingly good. I thought it would be rote simple—it is not, with a plot that took me where I didn’t expect. Well performed by good actors, with good editing and direction. Good lighting and cinematography, too....
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Do you enjoy Liam Neeson action movies with a healthy dose—one might say an overdose—of patriotic themes and imagery? Then may I recommend the pro-gun, pro-olde-tyme-small-town-America The Marksman, which is ridiculously cliche in its plot and ridiculously average in everything else. Well, except Liam Neeson is above average to start, but aside from that, y’know?