Five years ago I was 15, a sophomore in high school in my first serious relationship, struggling with a mental illness I hadn't a clue about. I remember thinking then that things were so difficult, that school was putting too much stress on me, and the lonely nights I endured felt so unbearable. Problems seemed so much bigger when I was a kid, and life seemed so much scarier. There are so many things I would love to be able to tell the younger version of myself, and here are 5 of them:
1. Don't sweat the little things. You're young, and some of the things that seem overwhelming to you now really aren't as dire as they seem to be. Take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Ask yourself if these things are really worth stressing and feeling anxious over. You'll find that most of the time, the answer is no.
2. Expel toxic people and behaviors from your life. There are going to be so many people you'll love, platonically and romantically, that will do or say harmful things. I promise that no matter how much you think they mean to you, some of them just aren't worth keeping around because they will be detrimental to your being. It'll be hard, but you should never feel guilty for looking out for yourself. You come first, always. Alternatively, you will also develop certain habits and behaviors that will ultimately hinder you in accomplishing your goals. DO NOT LET THEM. Eliminate these from your life as well to ensure that you prosper.
3. Don't be afraid to take risks. You'll come to find later that you have manic depression and anxiety, and it's imperative that you do not let your mental illnesses hold you back from being all that you aspire to be. You may be tempted to withhold from trying new things that you really want to do solely because your anxiety clouds your judgement and makes things appear infinitely frightening, but it's so important that you overcome this and encourage yourself to do whatever it is that you'd like to do. If not, your life will seem stalled, and you'll trap yourself in ruts you feel you can't pull yourself out of. You can, of course, but once you get into the habit of letting your anxiety dictate your life, it's really easy to let yourself believe you're helpless. This is future you speaking from experience of course. Not fun, man.
4. Your dreams are realistic. Time and again, you'll be told that your goals are unrealistic or silly, and sometimes you may even be laughed at. I know it can be very discouraging, but the fact of the matter is your dreams ARE realistic, and you can absolutely do anything you set your mind to. All it takes is hard work, patience, and perseverance, and you can make your wildest dreams come true. You just have to want it bad enough. I have every bit of faith in you!
5. Other people's opinions don't affect you. Don't take offense to them. I know you already have a fairly thick skin, but it's still a good idea to keep this in mind. A lot of people will talk about you behind your back, and they won't always have good things to say. That's absolutely fine; you can't appeal to everybody. As long as you're doing all you can to ensure your own happiness, their opinions don't matter. As I said before, you come first, always. Don't ever be afraid to do something just because you think people will react negatively to it. Do things for you, not for them.
Had I been given this advice at age 15, I think I would have wasted a lot less time on minuscule bullshit, but I also feel like all I've experienced without this advice is what helped mold me into the person I am today. It takes a lot of firsthand fuck-ups to learn a lesson, and we should never be ashamed of that. Thanks for reading, guys!
@missy @rambo